Showing posts with label sex and death. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex and death. Show all posts

Saturday, February 09, 2008

polari

Polari, or "The Lost Language of Gay Men" as Paul Baker has it in his wonderfully readable lexicon of that name, is the secret parlance through which gay men secretly communicated with each other during most of the 20th century.

According to a recent article in the Guardian ("What brings you trolling back, then?" by Colin Richardson), it flourished between Oscar Wilde's trial in 1895 and the decriminalisation of homosexuality (in England) in 1967.

Polari-speak is not so much "lost" now, as part of our common culture—witness "cruising", "cottaging", and even the most basic gay word, "camp". By the way, the next time you "cold-call" someone, looking for a positive outcome, you are speaking Polari.


Discovered deep within Evan Zimroth's fascinating read about the coded sex-diaries kept by the Economist, John Maynard Keynes at MoreIntelligentLife.com.

(Not recommended for the easily offended.)

kisses are a better fate than wisdom

Some 650 million members [or 10%] of the human species have not mastered the art of osculation, the scientific term for kissing; that is more than the population of any nation on earth except for China and India.


Observed by Irenäus Eibl-Eibesfeldt in his 1970 book Love and Hate: The Natural History of Behavior Patterns and referenced in Affairs of the Lips: Why We Kiss in the 31 January issue of Scientific American Mind.

Also in the piece and of interest, if you’re one of the remaining 6 billion-some members of our species who generally are interested in kissing:

  • 80% of people tilt their head to the right when kissing -- which curiously does not correlate with right-handedness (according to the article: right handedness is four times more common than the act of kissing on the right)


  • Of the 12 or 13 cranial nerves that affect cerebral function, nearly 40% are employed when when we kiss, shuttling information from our lips, tongue, cheeks and nose to the brain about temperature, taste, smell and movement


  • Researchers were surprised to find that oxytocin levels (a pleasurable hormone induced by social bonding) rose in men after kissing and dropped in women -- they expected a rise across both sexes (their theory: woman need more than a kiss to bond)


  • However, stressful cortisol hormones dropped in both genders after kissing, asserting the hypothesis that kissing is a stress reliever


  • In Mongolia some fathers do not kiss their sons. They smell their heads instead


  • A Gallup survey found that 59 percent of 58 men and 66 percent of 122 women admitted there had been times when they were attracted to some­one only to find that their interest evaporated after their first kiss


And, perhaps one of the most important tips provided by the article: Be careful when kissing a bonobo -- unless you don’t mind a little tongue (‘cause he’s almost sure to slip you some).

In closing, an attribution:

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

— e.e. cummings

Monday, January 28, 2008

speaking of sex

And our complete inability to get a handle on it without reducing it to some kind of cliché:

When Cary Grant tells Grace Kelly in 1955’s To Catch a Thief that what she needs is “two weeks with a good man at Niagara Falls,” no one thinks he’s talking about boat rides.

—Cary Grant as cited by Ginger Strand in Selling Sex in Honeymoon Heaven: Femininty, Niagara Falls, and the Genuine Allure of an American Fake in the most recent post at Believer Magazine


Strand has written an interesting piece (if you have the time -- it's a little long) on the place of the Honeymoon in the American landscape (with apologies to Canada, with whom we share the Falls, but who fails to make it into the title of the piece) that raises more questions than it answers.

Like: How did one of North America's most astonishing Natural Wonders become a universal euphemism for marital sex? And how come Old Faithful got nudged out for the honor?

None of these questions are entirely answered (Old Faithful doesn't even come up -- that's just me thinking out loud) but it's an intriguing read, nonetheless. And the Red Hatters are mentioned, so it scores a few points as a cautionary tale.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

une vraie femme, complète

Photo: Art Shay
Subject: Simone de Beauvoir


This last week there was some fuss in France over the publication of an Art Shay photograph of Simone de Beauvoir’s curvalicious backside on the cover of Le Nouvelle Observateur.

I caught wind of it via a brief New Yorker mention (we’re too busy with Britney’s troubles -- and her sister’s! -- to be bothered by the naked bum of one of the 20th Century’s preeminent intellectuals here in the States) and given the weakness of my French I was consigned to follow the story in the English language press. The Times Online provided this recap:

The reaction of de Beauvoir’s admirers to the Nouvel Obs piece and its accompanying photograph was pained. A small demonstration of the feminist group Les Chiennes de Garde assembled outside the magazine’s offices, waving placards calling for Jean Daniel, the proprietor, to publish pictures of his own bare buttocks as well as those of various male philosophers. “My first thought on seeing the magazine,” said Florence Montreynaud, an authority on the relationship between de Beauvoir and her life’s companion, the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, “was that they would never have considered putting a picture of Sartre’s bottom on the front of Le Nouvel Observateur.”

This is certainly true. And anyone who has seen a picture of the front elevation of Jean-Paul Sartre, fully clothed, will instantly understand why. The behind of the great rock star of French philosophy, Bernard-Henri Lévy, might be a different matter ...


Aren’t we past this by now? The idea that a woman may be only smart OR sexy -- but not both? And certainly not all at once?

Studying Shay’s lovely composition from the sidelines, in which I see a woman standing bare, except for her heels, before an open doorway in a friend’s house in which she was fully aware roamed another friend who was a photographer (and are any of us safe from those unscrupulous creatures, photographers?), and then reading the story of how when she heard Shay’s shutter close she turned, laughing, and said “Naughty boy!” -- I can only conclude that in this shot the 44 year old de Beauvoir has elected to be the subject -- meaning that she is by no means subjugated.

Because honestly: No woman wears heels for herself alone.

So if she welcomed the camera’s gaze, does that make her any less of a philosopher and intellectual? Does she, for this, become a dirty girl, and are all honors and privileges previously conferred upon her for her accomplishments nullified?

Let’s hope not. I prefer to hope that this is a brief insight into the possibility that de Beauvoir recognized the power inherent in female sexuality -- the turn of well-placed a curve -- a powerful force that historically our institutions and legislations have worked feverishly to control and contain.

I see in this shot a woman wielding her superpower called sexy (one that every woman who bothers to embrace it owns) in which resides the ability to captivate and hold the attention of others and persuade through the beautiful concert of both mind and flesh.

Any woman who has discovered the magical power that a low slung neckline has over some men (& women) knows that with great power comes great responsibility -- women should not use their physical powers to manipulate just as men should not (and of course, women have, as have men, which is where our fear springs from) -- but to revel in it? To share that beauty and, with it, a lust for life?

Hell, yeah.

So why does it seem that we still subscribe to this idea that to embrace the force of flesh means that your brain will wither and die? Or to be recognized and seen for these things means that the rest goes unnoticed?

The sapiosexual knows better.

And, frankly, enjoys life more.


p.s. The title of this post was pulled from a Times' citation of the Nouvelle Obs piece -- it was how one of de Beauvoir's former lovers, Claude Lanzmann, described her.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

what we talk about when we talk about love

One thing that prompts people to fall in love are similarities in personality and knowledge, and all of this is programmable.

Another reason people are more likely to fall in love is if they know the other person likes them, and that's programmable too.

Artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands commenting on what it will take to fall in love with a robot in Forecast: Sex and Marriage with Robots by 2050 in LiveScience.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

more on sex

It just happened.
I was bored.
It just seemed like “the thing to do.”
Someone dared me.
I wanted to feel closer to God.


Five out of the 237 reasons why people have sex, according to researchers at UT Austin and reported in yesterday's New York Times.

Here's the PDF of the actual report ».

If you feel they've missed a few, you're invited to make a contribution »

more on death


Q. In a world without film, what would you have made?

A. Film.


Italian Film Director Michaelangelo Antonioni in an undated interview, as reported in his obituary in today's New York Times.

Also on Antonioni: A Chronicler of Alienated Europeans in a Flimsy New World »

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

speaking of sex & death

[Twittervision is] a hypnotic glimpse into the lives of people around the world. [It's] a complete waste of time -- in the same way that conversation, casual sex, and reading are wastes of time.


Nat Torkington of O'Reilly quoted in Is Twitter Here to Stay? in the MIT Technology Review back in April.

So there's the sex part.

Re death: How soon before our online profiles allow us to identify our next-of-kin -- so that in the event of death someone has the option to logon and let the world know that we won't be posting anymore?
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