speaking of memory

Jenny Diski writes in the London Review of Books about overcoming a lifelong fear of spiders through the, in her words, stupidly titled Friendly Spiders Programme at the Zoological Society of London:

A person who is not afraid of spiders is almost by definition someone who is not me. So it is uncanny (in a properly Freudian sense of that word) to observe myself without that fear. Someway in which I knew myself has vanished. It is slightly frightening not being frightened of spiders.

And then I wonder, why not get hypnotized out of all my anxieties and nervous habits, make everything awkward and resistant go away, so that I could become... well, nothing is the alarming image I have.

I can't picture what would be left after I had chipped off the difficulties.

Jenny Diski writing in the London Review of Books' Diary in the 30 November 2006 issue.